So I am sure that anyone work had worked in the restaurant industry will appreciate that people are truly at times dumb!!! I had this one dude tonight ask me if I knew how to make a surfer on acid shot... so of course this was the right time to mess with him. I said no I have never made that shot what's in it? He tells me the ingredients and I make him the shot. He proceeds to tell me how it's the best shot that he has ever had and that I should try it. Seriously I have been bartending most of my life and I often wonder why people find it necessary to ask me if I know how to make their drinks...do I go to their work as i don't a gas attendent and ask them if they know how to pump gas. If I didn't know how to make drinks would I be in this industry. oh wait I just pretend to be a bartender for the free drinks....
So this same kid who still has no idea that I am messing with him asks for more shots and I again say hey what was in that? and guess what the idiot tells me again....he then takes his shot and proceeds over the jukebox...(which btw I hate that word jukebox...why is it called that? I thought it was a jootbox what's a juke anyway?) He puts a quarter in the jukebox which will get him exactly one quarter of a song...the quarter gets stuck so he bends down and positions himself in front of the coin slot and turns his head sideways almost falling over to see inside if the quarter got stuck...really why does he need to turn his sideways? because the slot is sideways? You mean to tell me that he couldn't see in the slot with his head in a normal position?? ha ha ha I just have to laugh...what a dumbass...
or we could talk about the person that comes in every Tuesdays and sits at the bar and asks every week are you still serving wings??? No not this Tuesday we decided not serve wings...really ha ha ha....
then there are the drunk people who are all happy and chatting away up in everyone's personal space...when all of a sudden something in them gets very angry and they kick a table knocking everything off the table only to have then pick everything up off of the floor that just fell off the table. Well it seems to me that wasn't a very good idea considering you are now on the dirty floor of a bar picking shit up and you are more than likely now shut off...oh wait and you look really stupid in front of the rest of the people there. ha ha ha ha thanks for the entertainment though...
A good friend suggested to me that he wished he could live certain days over and over again in a Groundhog Day type of way. In which he could do anything he wanted to do and he nobody would remember...so imagine that he walks up someone who is being really stupid and just slaps them right across the face and starts yelling at them NO! NO! NO!...lmao how funny would that be if we could really do that to people.....what would be their expressions to get slapped repeatedly and have some random guy over them yelling no no no....priceless!!!!
So to all of the idiots of the world I say thank you for the hours of entertainment at your expense of course...
Peace.....
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Monday, April 26, 2010
So it's been a while since the whole bagel incident and I am ready to make a go at breakfast again. Nothing in the form of an egg of course. School vacation is over and I survived it was a fun one this time. I started out the vaca with a birthday party for my now 9 year old daughter. Which is hard to believe that she is 9. I had 10 girls over my house and took them to the movies to see Diary of a Wimpy Kid. Let's just say that I can't believe that little girls can be so damn loud!!! They just scream and giggle to friggin funny. What was even more funny was that my husband had never been around so many pre teen girls at one time. I think that he was a little bit scared. They talked about boys which to my husband is a no fly zone...in other words he hasn't bought his shotgun yet and he doesn't want to hear it.
Some of the girls were a little bit out there. Like the one who brought the goodie bag back three times after she already left the party because she has sensitive skin and can't use the cream inside the bag....then she came back and said ok well can I just look at the ingredients...really just take the damn cream. And the drama omg...two of the girls crying because they think that the other girls are mad at them. I don't know if I was like that...one little girl even had a cell phone...a cell phone at nine years old....who does she really have to call? Then there was one little girl who let one rip right in the middle of eating pizza and never even skipped a beat.... ha ha ha me and my cousin were like holy crap ha ha ha ha.....and let's not forget the whole boogie incident well maybe I should save that for another day.....
On Wednesday we headed up Maine for two days of relaxing.....the ride up to Maine just simply SUCKS!!! It is three plus hours of 95 the whole way....I really love trees...because that's all that there is to look at friggin trees....my daughter with her ipod in the backseat belting out Justin Bieber the same song of course the whole way...now I love my daughter and she is pretty amazing at most things but Miley Cyrus she is not....and my son asking every 5 miles are we there yet?? I didn't think that kids really did that....and my husband who doesn't talk in the car....Yup that's right no talking in the car if only to yell at Brady not to kick his seat....who doesn't talk the car is that even normal....although in recent years he has gotten better...
Anyway Maine was fabulous great weather and fun!!! With Summer vacation in sight I hope that all goes well....
peace love and black labs!!!!
Some of the girls were a little bit out there. Like the one who brought the goodie bag back three times after she already left the party because she has sensitive skin and can't use the cream inside the bag....then she came back and said ok well can I just look at the ingredients...really just take the damn cream. And the drama omg...two of the girls crying because they think that the other girls are mad at them. I don't know if I was like that...one little girl even had a cell phone...a cell phone at nine years old....who does she really have to call? Then there was one little girl who let one rip right in the middle of eating pizza and never even skipped a beat.... ha ha ha me and my cousin were like holy crap ha ha ha ha.....and let's not forget the whole boogie incident well maybe I should save that for another day.....
On Wednesday we headed up Maine for two days of relaxing.....the ride up to Maine just simply SUCKS!!! It is three plus hours of 95 the whole way....I really love trees...because that's all that there is to look at friggin trees....my daughter with her ipod in the backseat belting out Justin Bieber the same song of course the whole way...now I love my daughter and she is pretty amazing at most things but Miley Cyrus she is not....and my son asking every 5 miles are we there yet?? I didn't think that kids really did that....and my husband who doesn't talk in the car....Yup that's right no talking in the car if only to yell at Brady not to kick his seat....who doesn't talk the car is that even normal....although in recent years he has gotten better...
Anyway Maine was fabulous great weather and fun!!! With Summer vacation in sight I hope that all goes well....
peace love and black labs!!!!
Friday, April 16, 2010
AWE C'MON MAN...
ok so this morning I was extremely hungry for so reason...I normally don't eat a large breakfast if any at all. But this morning I decided to make myself an egg sandwich on a bagel. They have these new bagels that are called bagel thins. They are a new diet gimick...buy these bagel thins that are half the size of a normal bagel and taste like cardboard. But me being female and constantly feeling like 10 pounds of shit in a five pound bag has convinced myself that they taste good. Anyway I fry the egg and toast the bagel which by the way over toasts because it is too thin. I add salt and pepper to the egg and place it on the bagel. I am thinking to my self omg it looks so yummy and at the same time dammit I just gave up lunch for a thin too toasted bagel....SHIT!! Because I try to reason with myself that I can east this if I don't eat lunch and I won't gain a pound. Not to mention I get on the scale fifty times a day just to make myself sick at the number that I see. Now my cousin would tell me to shut the f up...but it is a disease man. or a phobia of weight gain brought on by society...lol sounds good but really it
s just me being me(ie not normal)
Anyway my egg sandwich on a not so good over toasted thin bagel is calling my name....I decide to kill to birds with one stone and check facebook while I eat my breakfast. I lean over and open my mouth to take my first bite. I sink my teeth into the bagel so exited to eat....tummy growling and all. What happens next I couldn't have made up if I wanted to. The yolk from the egg shoots through the hole in the middle of the bagel and directly shoots up my right nostril....burning the inside of my nose....Really ouch....a sad indication of how the rest of my day will go....
PEACE BABY!!!
s just me being me(ie not normal)
Anyway my egg sandwich on a not so good over toasted thin bagel is calling my name....I decide to kill to birds with one stone and check facebook while I eat my breakfast. I lean over and open my mouth to take my first bite. I sink my teeth into the bagel so exited to eat....tummy growling and all. What happens next I couldn't have made up if I wanted to. The yolk from the egg shoots through the hole in the middle of the bagel and directly shoots up my right nostril....burning the inside of my nose....Really ouch....a sad indication of how the rest of my day will go....
PEACE BABY!!!
Friday, April 9, 2010
WOW...WHO KNEW!!!
It's weird how you think that you know somebody and BANG!!! They totally surprise you....
I was at work last night, I started to have a conversation with a friend and his wife. Now my friend I have known for almost nine years...great guy always there to help me out. He was the first person to know that I was pregnant with my son...thanks to my husband. He got married this year. Personally I never thought that he would ever marry someone that was his age...he was notorious for dating chicks who were half his age. Most of them were not only half his age, but also had half a brain. This is something that he would agree with me about. His new wife I have known for a couple of years...she's great. Beautiful, successful, and smart that being the key. Totally keeps him in line and that is def something that he needed. I knew that they would get married. They eloped this year, my husband knew his secret, but told him not to tell me.
I always thought of his wife as a pretty straight laced woman. Last night I learned so much about her that I never would have expected. My friend it turns out has married a very interesting person. As it turns out when she was in college, she moved to San Francisco with her friend to stay with her friend's parents. Which is all well and good and not to exciting...until I tell you that her friends dad is none other than DAN NEELEY....that's right the Dan Neeley...For those of you who are not familiar with the name, let me help you out. He was the manager for the Grateful Dead for about 20 years. Now she could've said any other band in the world and my attention would have been lost, however I stopped dead in my tracks because for those of you who know me will remember that The Grateful Dead is sacred to me...Some of the best summers of my life I spent with friends seeing the Dead.
Come to find out my friend's wife toured with them on the West Coast and she had stories to tell that I would never have known. She traveled by tour bus with the whole band to shows in Oakland, San Francisco, Las Vegas, etc...I guess that my point is that when looking at person we never know the stories that they have to tell. Everybody has something that makes them unique. Sometimes it just takes a little time to find out what it is that makes them interesting. Now I am not saying that is the only thing that makes her unique, but to me we share something in common that I never in a million years would have guessed.
It takes one glance to make a judgement about someone....but it takes a life time to really get to know them. My job has introduced me to some really great people, who otherwise I would never met or even talked to....
Peace....
I was at work last night, I started to have a conversation with a friend and his wife. Now my friend I have known for almost nine years...great guy always there to help me out. He was the first person to know that I was pregnant with my son...thanks to my husband. He got married this year. Personally I never thought that he would ever marry someone that was his age...he was notorious for dating chicks who were half his age. Most of them were not only half his age, but also had half a brain. This is something that he would agree with me about. His new wife I have known for a couple of years...she's great. Beautiful, successful, and smart that being the key. Totally keeps him in line and that is def something that he needed. I knew that they would get married. They eloped this year, my husband knew his secret, but told him not to tell me.
I always thought of his wife as a pretty straight laced woman. Last night I learned so much about her that I never would have expected. My friend it turns out has married a very interesting person. As it turns out when she was in college, she moved to San Francisco with her friend to stay with her friend's parents. Which is all well and good and not to exciting...until I tell you that her friends dad is none other than DAN NEELEY....that's right the Dan Neeley...For those of you who are not familiar with the name, let me help you out. He was the manager for the Grateful Dead for about 20 years. Now she could've said any other band in the world and my attention would have been lost, however I stopped dead in my tracks because for those of you who know me will remember that The Grateful Dead is sacred to me...Some of the best summers of my life I spent with friends seeing the Dead.
Come to find out my friend's wife toured with them on the West Coast and she had stories to tell that I would never have known. She traveled by tour bus with the whole band to shows in Oakland, San Francisco, Las Vegas, etc...I guess that my point is that when looking at person we never know the stories that they have to tell. Everybody has something that makes them unique. Sometimes it just takes a little time to find out what it is that makes them interesting. Now I am not saying that is the only thing that makes her unique, but to me we share something in common that I never in a million years would have guessed.
It takes one glance to make a judgement about someone....but it takes a life time to really get to know them. My job has introduced me to some really great people, who otherwise I would never met or even talked to....
Peace....
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Easter, Jesus, and Stuff.....
ok so Easter....a day to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus.....if you are Catholic and you go to church regularly sure that sounds great. In my case it's just another reason to stuff my face. I usually go to church on Easter, but I decided this year to tired. Which is ok with my kids and husband, so what does that say? It tells me that the whole concept of Easter is completely lost on my kids. My husband went to Catholic school his whole life and I know more about religion than he does...so to my kids Easter is a day for the bunny to come and for them to get candy. I pretty much suck at religion...
I also can't understand why people give my kids chocolate bunnies the size of their heads, let me fill you in on something...THEY ARE NEVER GOING TO EAT THE DAMN THINGS....That is just absolutely ridiculous....they would be bouncing off the walls for days!!!
and let's talk about the colored eggs...ok first of all me and my cousin bought 7 dozen eggs between us. Boiled the damn things, which completely stinks up the whole entire house. I then piled the kids into the car and traveled over to my cousins house to color them. Between the two of us we have 4 kids....ages 9, 6, 5, and 3...so we get everything set up and they color the eggs for approximately 35 minutes and then they announce that they are bored and want to go and play...great so combined they colored maybe 3 dozen eggs. That leaves 4 dozen eggs for me and my cousin to color...REALLY??....sometimes I would like to yell get your little shit butts over here and sit down and have fun coloring these smelly ass eggs dammit, but alas I say ok go and play have fun. and I am resigned to sit and color 4 dozen eggs, which then becomes a competition between me and my cousin as to who can color the best egg....I won this year in case you were wondering....it was a glorious win as this is the first time that I have ever won in 39 years....
so then we take our 3 dozen eggs and go home only to leave them in the refrigerator where they continue to smell or make 26 pounds of egg salad which nobody eats....hmp so they start out smelling up my house and they end up smelling up my house....who started this tradition anyway....truly awful....
then you get to come home and put away all of the little trinkets that the Easter Bunny and the grandparents passed out, because it is not enough that the bunny brings them shit, each grandparent has to give them a basket full of nonsense as well. To grandparents everywhere I say thanks for the piles of stuffed animals, yo-yo's, chalk etc that you feel the need to bring over everytime you stop by...in reality I would like to say CUT THE CRAP...I live in a cape...or haven't you guys noticed I have no room for the 600 things that you bought for a dollar...love you but I will pass.
And why does everyone feel the need to shove leftovers down your throat...omg please take something home there is so much leftover. No thanks I am all set....ok great I will make you a plate?? What umm NO.. I don't want to take home 3 pounds of ham and a pile of green beans...really I'm good..
lol I love bitching but I really had a great Easter...
I also can't understand why people give my kids chocolate bunnies the size of their heads, let me fill you in on something...THEY ARE NEVER GOING TO EAT THE DAMN THINGS....That is just absolutely ridiculous....they would be bouncing off the walls for days!!!
and let's talk about the colored eggs...ok first of all me and my cousin bought 7 dozen eggs between us. Boiled the damn things, which completely stinks up the whole entire house. I then piled the kids into the car and traveled over to my cousins house to color them. Between the two of us we have 4 kids....ages 9, 6, 5, and 3...so we get everything set up and they color the eggs for approximately 35 minutes and then they announce that they are bored and want to go and play...great so combined they colored maybe 3 dozen eggs. That leaves 4 dozen eggs for me and my cousin to color...REALLY??....sometimes I would like to yell get your little shit butts over here and sit down and have fun coloring these smelly ass eggs dammit, but alas I say ok go and play have fun. and I am resigned to sit and color 4 dozen eggs, which then becomes a competition between me and my cousin as to who can color the best egg....I won this year in case you were wondering....it was a glorious win as this is the first time that I have ever won in 39 years....
so then we take our 3 dozen eggs and go home only to leave them in the refrigerator where they continue to smell or make 26 pounds of egg salad which nobody eats....hmp so they start out smelling up my house and they end up smelling up my house....who started this tradition anyway....truly awful....
then you get to come home and put away all of the little trinkets that the Easter Bunny and the grandparents passed out, because it is not enough that the bunny brings them shit, each grandparent has to give them a basket full of nonsense as well. To grandparents everywhere I say thanks for the piles of stuffed animals, yo-yo's, chalk etc that you feel the need to bring over everytime you stop by...in reality I would like to say CUT THE CRAP...I live in a cape...or haven't you guys noticed I have no room for the 600 things that you bought for a dollar...love you but I will pass.
And why does everyone feel the need to shove leftovers down your throat...omg please take something home there is so much leftover. No thanks I am all set....ok great I will make you a plate?? What umm NO.. I don't want to take home 3 pounds of ham and a pile of green beans...really I'm good..
lol I love bitching but I really had a great Easter...
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