So did you ever have someone in your life that you have just felt a certain connection to since the first time that you held them as an infant. It could be your own child the first time the doctor lays them on your chest after you give birth. It could be a friends baby that you hold and they just grab your finger for dear life and they just don't want to let go. Either way there is a certain connection that you feel like you would do anything for this child just to keep them safe and happy forever. My first experience with this feeling was when one of my very best friends in the world was pregnant with her first child. I watched as she went through everything that a pregnant mom goes through with awe...from her morning sickness, to her cravings, to her mood swings, and her ever growing belly...and then one night we were hanging out watching a movie and she said the baby is moving...she took my hand and put it on her belly and wow he was definitely moving..it was amazing and so alien to me. I mean I understood the whole process, but that was the first time that I had actually felt a baby move inside someone's body. we talked endlessly for hours about what her and her husband would name the baby and they finally settled with Matthew...it was a good name I thought that she made a great choice...
Then on August 15th 1994, my friend went into labor. Her husband being the crazy person that he is drove like a crazy person to the hospital and after may hours of labor...they had their first son. I remember being so excited to finally go to the hospital and meet this new baby that I had watched grow in his mother's belly for 40 weeks, actually I believe it was a little longer than forty weeks. Anyway I couldn't wait to meet Matthew, I walked into her hospital room and she introduced me to her new son Kyle. Kyle? Who the hell is Kyle? and what did you do with Matthew? Well true to her nature the baby's name changed during delivery and Kyle was born..
I leaned over the basinet to see the sweetest little baby boy that I have ever seen. He had a full head of blond hair and was just looking up at me like pick me up please...so I did. So you know that when you hold a baby for the first time you are supposed to make a wish for the baby for the future...as i picked Kyle up I made my wish. He grabbed onto my finger and just like I that he never let go. The instant connection was there and I knew that I would have a very special person in my life forever.
We played together, I taught him all the things that I shouldn't have..the things that if someone had taught my kids now I would shoot them...like how to say MINE...I bought him all of the presents that guess what any parent would kill their friends for buying them...like a house full of 1000 balls to jump in...I sang to him when he was sad and couldn't sleep...I taught him how to crack eggs and scramble up shells included and I taught adults that they had better eat the damn shells...we always had fun...anyway
He has never disappointed...he is gorgeous, smart, funny, considerate, an athlete...just the kind of kid that you hope for your own children to grow up to be...
This past weekend his family met us up in Maine on their way home from a family vacation...it was a great treat as we don't get to see them as much as I would like to. I looked at my friends boys who are now growing into amazing men both of which are taller than me and I just couldn't believe that the little boy who I had such a special bond with was now growing into an adult....
So as parents we always try to choose for our children the best people that we think would be good godparents for our children should they need guidance in their lives...and sometimes the choices we make aren't always the right ones. I learned this weekend that it's the child who picks their godparents...as we sat around the campfire the subject of godparents came up and Kyle feeling like he never really had a godmother in the person that his parents chose for him turned to me and asked me if I would be his godmother...That I was his choice and I realized that in that moment that the bond I felt with him as a baby he felt too...and that's why he chose me. I cried and I hugged him and told him that I would be honored...now as he approves his 16th birthday I am proud to look at him and say I have a god son...someone that I look at and know will do great things with his life...someone who choose me to play such an important role in his life...and I can wait to see what the future holds for him...I am honored....
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Early Mornings SUCK!!!!
Mom...Mommy...Mama..Mommer...Michelle Michelle....Ma Ma MA MOMMY!!!! MOMMY!!!!!!........WHAT DO YOU WANT.....I love you Mom.....and this is my 5 year old....What the hell is wrong with kids...they are so weird...the have no clue what it means to sleep in. My son was up at 5:45 am today, clearly he has no conception of the fact that it is Sunday morning. He woke up so full of energy ready face the world...the only problem was THAT THE WORLD WAS STILL ASLEEP CUZ IT'S SUNDAY MORNING....
He comes into my room and I am dead asleep...He sticks his little face as close as he possibly can to mine without actually touching it and proceeds to do what he calls a whisper, but what any normal human being would call a low growl....MOM can we go downstairs? Now any normal person who doesn't have kids if woken up that way from a dead sleep would automatically freak the fuck out right...they would sit up, probably be like what the fuck or maybe even start swinging cuz they would think some insane midget broke into their house and is now waking them up....Any parent that gets woken up in this fashion on a regular basis just immediately starts to cry and whine because they no this is no joke...You are about to embark on the rest of your day...HE IS AWAKE!!! there is no turning back...it doesn't matter to him what the clock says....no you may be able to appease him for a bit...tell him to go play in his room for awhile or turn on the tv in your room for awhile...but what's the point really you will never find that deep sleep again....the only hope that you have is that he doesn't wake up the other kids in your house...cuz that would be awful..My daughter if woken up before she has had enough sleep is just plain miserable for the rest of the day...So you strap a set on, get on of bed, and go downstairs with this little person who is smiling from ear to ear and all you can think of is how can I kill him so that I can go back to bed...LOL well maybe not that drastic but you get the idea...
Anyway, my son also really enjoys public restrooms...I think that I have seen the inside of every public bathroom on the North Shore. It doesn't matter how many times that I ask him before we leave the house if he has to go potty, which by the way he never does of course. For as soon as we reach our destination he immediately grabs his privates, buckles at the knees and is about to literally pee his pants. I have to physically pick him up around the waist throw him over my shoulder and run for the nearest bathroom, which by the way is always at the very back of the store....why I have no fucking clue..maybe the architect never had kids...so I run for the bathroom...anyone who has ever been in a public restroom knows that they all smell like absolute piss....no way around it, completely fucking disgusting beyond any smell that has ever resinated your nose.. So I get him into the stall and proceed to tell DO NOT TOUCH ANYTHING....ok Mommy I won't and he goes potty with a hugh sigh of relief...I get him all cleaned up and help him with his pants...then I turn my back for 10 seconds to flush the toilet with my foot because again DO NOT TOUCH ANYTHING....as I turn back around I see my precious son on his hands and knees still in the stall mind you sticking his head under the next stall peeking on the lady going the bathroom...first of all I scream not because he is peeking on a lady who the hell cares about that, but because OMG HE IS ON THE FLOOR OF A PUBLIC BATHROOM...how the hell am I going to sanitize his entire body, it's just simply horrifying....I scream at him to get up, which scares the crap out of him and he immediately starts to cry....great now I have a germ infested screaming 5 years old in a public bathroom who probably just contracted VD or some other rare disease....FML....and all that I wanted to do was shop around Target for a bit...Really who's idea was this whole kid thing anyway??? and just for the record when do these little people actually figure out how to wipe their own asses....if I was to let my son wipe his own butt I would have shit all over the bathroom, I thought that when the diapers were off they were on their own, why do I have to teach him how to wipe, isn't that something that one just automatically knows how to do? c'mon man so friggin gross....
So now don't get me wrong totally love my son,,,but for the love of god somebody please teach him how to tell time...o wait that's my job right....great just great!!!
Peace.....
He comes into my room and I am dead asleep...He sticks his little face as close as he possibly can to mine without actually touching it and proceeds to do what he calls a whisper, but what any normal human being would call a low growl....MOM can we go downstairs? Now any normal person who doesn't have kids if woken up that way from a dead sleep would automatically freak the fuck out right...they would sit up, probably be like what the fuck or maybe even start swinging cuz they would think some insane midget broke into their house and is now waking them up....Any parent that gets woken up in this fashion on a regular basis just immediately starts to cry and whine because they no this is no joke...You are about to embark on the rest of your day...HE IS AWAKE!!! there is no turning back...it doesn't matter to him what the clock says....no you may be able to appease him for a bit...tell him to go play in his room for awhile or turn on the tv in your room for awhile...but what's the point really you will never find that deep sleep again....the only hope that you have is that he doesn't wake up the other kids in your house...cuz that would be awful..My daughter if woken up before she has had enough sleep is just plain miserable for the rest of the day...So you strap a set on, get on of bed, and go downstairs with this little person who is smiling from ear to ear and all you can think of is how can I kill him so that I can go back to bed...LOL well maybe not that drastic but you get the idea...
Anyway, my son also really enjoys public restrooms...I think that I have seen the inside of every public bathroom on the North Shore. It doesn't matter how many times that I ask him before we leave the house if he has to go potty, which by the way he never does of course. For as soon as we reach our destination he immediately grabs his privates, buckles at the knees and is about to literally pee his pants. I have to physically pick him up around the waist throw him over my shoulder and run for the nearest bathroom, which by the way is always at the very back of the store....why I have no fucking clue..maybe the architect never had kids...so I run for the bathroom...anyone who has ever been in a public restroom knows that they all smell like absolute piss....no way around it, completely fucking disgusting beyond any smell that has ever resinated your nose.. So I get him into the stall and proceed to tell DO NOT TOUCH ANYTHING....ok Mommy I won't and he goes potty with a hugh sigh of relief...I get him all cleaned up and help him with his pants...then I turn my back for 10 seconds to flush the toilet with my foot because again DO NOT TOUCH ANYTHING....as I turn back around I see my precious son on his hands and knees still in the stall mind you sticking his head under the next stall peeking on the lady going the bathroom...first of all I scream not because he is peeking on a lady who the hell cares about that, but because OMG HE IS ON THE FLOOR OF A PUBLIC BATHROOM...how the hell am I going to sanitize his entire body, it's just simply horrifying....I scream at him to get up, which scares the crap out of him and he immediately starts to cry....great now I have a germ infested screaming 5 years old in a public bathroom who probably just contracted VD or some other rare disease....FML....and all that I wanted to do was shop around Target for a bit...Really who's idea was this whole kid thing anyway??? and just for the record when do these little people actually figure out how to wipe their own asses....if I was to let my son wipe his own butt I would have shit all over the bathroom, I thought that when the diapers were off they were on their own, why do I have to teach him how to wipe, isn't that something that one just automatically knows how to do? c'mon man so friggin gross....
So now don't get me wrong totally love my son,,,but for the love of god somebody please teach him how to tell time...o wait that's my job right....great just great!!!
Peace.....
Thursday, July 1, 2010
PPPPPLLLLLLLLLBBBBBB............
...so summer is upon us and as I sit and type this blog I realize that my favorite season is falling short of my expectations this year...my mood and attitude pretty much suck...I can't get out of this pathetic place that my head is in....so what to do? I need a change...what change exactly I am not really sure...everything seems so mundane. What to do quit my job, nope stuck at that I need money...give away my kids...nope I would miss them...but the everyday things that I have to do are just boring me to death...Wake up try and think of something to do with the kids so they don't fight and kill each other and are entertained at the same time for the 10 hours before I go to work. For those of you who don't have kids, you may think that ooo big deal you have to figure out something fun to do with your kids, well it's not easy trust me...There are only so many times that you can go to Salem Willows or sit out by the pool....etc...
It would be nice to have a day or week or a month where one could just get up and not have to worry about anybody else but themselves....sounds extremely selfish right well I don't give shit....I think that I have surrounded myself with too many people who don't have the same responsibilities that I do, not to say that they don't understand what I do everyday...but they just don't get it until they are living it...They have so much freedom, however they are just fucking idiots because they are all looking to do what I am in the midst of now....get married and have kids, and live happily ever after. It's a joke man, everybody always wants more.....and the later gets so boring that you simply fall into a routine.....get up take care of the kids, clean the house, do laundry, grocery shop, take the kids to do something fun and entertaining for them, yell at the kids so they do what you need them to do in order to get to work on time, go to work and end up being late no matter what time you leave the house, take care of the customers, maybe have a drink after work to unwind, be home by at least 2 am because anything later would be unacceptable, try and get maybe four or five hours of sleep.., sleep, get up and do the exact same thing all over again...
I was talking to one of my regulars the other day...she isn't married, has no kids, and works somewhat freelance...she is generally a very happy person, but recent things in her life have given her a kick in the ass...so I asked her you have nothing holding you to Salem so what the hell are you still doing here? Because let's face it our tiny little corner of the globe is pretty, but its not Hawaii...She really didn't know, I think that she has thought numerous times about leaving, but fear of the unknown has held her back...as I was talking to her I was looking around thinking of all the people that I see on a regular everyday basis and I wonder how many of them are truly happy or do they just have periods of happiness when things get just a little bit different in their lives...a new job, a new relationship, a vacation booked...I have seen so many people get stuck in their lives that they have forgotten what their dreams and hopes were for themselves, they forget what they wanted out of life and they live to give their children the future that they dream of....only guess what their children are probably going to end up having kids and doing the exact same thing...very few people actually accomplish what they set out to do with their lives...if you sit back and think about it.....there is so much world to see how can people actually never leave their little bubble....because their stupid and afraid to see what they could really do if they put their minds to it, myself included. But guess what even if you have the mind set to do it....if you don't have the money than you can't do a thing...unless you put yourself into debt with the hopes that in the end your venture will pay off otherwise you are worse off then you were before...
Now don't get me wrong I love my kids to death and I wouldn't trade them for anything. If I didn't have them I would probably die. They make me laugh and smile everyday, they are the best!!!!. But I hope to instill just that small little bit of selfishness into them so that when they are making their choices in life, they are truly doing what they have set out to do.... and what makes them happy... PEACE OUT BABIES.......
It would be nice to have a day or week or a month where one could just get up and not have to worry about anybody else but themselves....sounds extremely selfish right well I don't give shit....I think that I have surrounded myself with too many people who don't have the same responsibilities that I do, not to say that they don't understand what I do everyday...but they just don't get it until they are living it...They have so much freedom, however they are just fucking idiots because they are all looking to do what I am in the midst of now....get married and have kids, and live happily ever after. It's a joke man, everybody always wants more.....and the later gets so boring that you simply fall into a routine.....get up take care of the kids, clean the house, do laundry, grocery shop, take the kids to do something fun and entertaining for them, yell at the kids so they do what you need them to do in order to get to work on time, go to work and end up being late no matter what time you leave the house, take care of the customers, maybe have a drink after work to unwind, be home by at least 2 am because anything later would be unacceptable, try and get maybe four or five hours of sleep.., sleep, get up and do the exact same thing all over again...
I was talking to one of my regulars the other day...she isn't married, has no kids, and works somewhat freelance...she is generally a very happy person, but recent things in her life have given her a kick in the ass...so I asked her you have nothing holding you to Salem so what the hell are you still doing here? Because let's face it our tiny little corner of the globe is pretty, but its not Hawaii...She really didn't know, I think that she has thought numerous times about leaving, but fear of the unknown has held her back...as I was talking to her I was looking around thinking of all the people that I see on a regular everyday basis and I wonder how many of them are truly happy or do they just have periods of happiness when things get just a little bit different in their lives...a new job, a new relationship, a vacation booked...I have seen so many people get stuck in their lives that they have forgotten what their dreams and hopes were for themselves, they forget what they wanted out of life and they live to give their children the future that they dream of....only guess what their children are probably going to end up having kids and doing the exact same thing...very few people actually accomplish what they set out to do with their lives...if you sit back and think about it.....there is so much world to see how can people actually never leave their little bubble....because their stupid and afraid to see what they could really do if they put their minds to it, myself included. But guess what even if you have the mind set to do it....if you don't have the money than you can't do a thing...unless you put yourself into debt with the hopes that in the end your venture will pay off otherwise you are worse off then you were before...
Now don't get me wrong I love my kids to death and I wouldn't trade them for anything. If I didn't have them I would probably die. They make me laugh and smile everyday, they are the best!!!!. But I hope to instill just that small little bit of selfishness into them so that when they are making their choices in life, they are truly doing what they have set out to do.... and what makes them happy... PEACE OUT BABIES.......
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