PPPPPLLLLLLLLLBBBBBB............

...so summer is upon us and as I sit and type this blog I realize that my favorite season is falling short of my expectations this year...my mood and attitude pretty much suck...I can't get out of this pathetic place that my head is in....so what to do? I need a change...what change exactly I am not really sure...everything seems so mundane. What to do quit my job, nope stuck at that I need money...give away my kids...nope I would miss them...but the everyday things that I have to do are just boring me to death...Wake up try and think of something to do with the kids so they don't fight and kill each other and are entertained at the same time for the 10 hours before I go to work. For those of you who don't have kids, you may think that ooo big deal you have to figure out something fun to do with your kids, well it's not easy trust me...There are only so many times that you can go to Salem Willows or sit out by the pool....etc...

It would be nice to have a day or week or a month where one could just get up and not have to worry about anybody else but themselves....sounds extremely selfish right well I don't give shit....I think that I have surrounded myself with too many people who don't have the same responsibilities that I do, not to say that they don't understand what I do everyday...but they just don't get it until they are living it...They have so much freedom, however they are just fucking idiots because they are all looking to do what I am in the midst of now....get married and have kids, and live happily ever after. It's a joke man, everybody always wants more.....and the later gets so boring that you simply fall into a routine.....get up take care of the kids, clean the house, do laundry, grocery shop, take the kids to do something fun and entertaining for them, yell at the kids so they do what you need them to do in order to get to work on time, go to work and end up being late no matter what time you leave the house, take care of the customers, maybe have a drink after work to unwind, be home by at least 2 am because anything later would be unacceptable, try and get maybe four or five hours of sleep.., sleep, get up and do the exact same thing all over again...

I was talking to one of my regulars the other day...she isn't married, has no kids, and works somewhat freelance...she is generally a very happy person, but recent things in her life have given her a kick in the ass...so I asked her you have nothing holding you to Salem so what the hell are you still doing here? Because let's face it our tiny little corner of the globe is pretty, but its not Hawaii...She really didn't know, I think that she has thought numerous times about leaving, but fear of the unknown has held her back...as I was talking to her I was looking around thinking of all the people that I see on a regular everyday basis and I wonder how many of them are truly happy or do they just have periods of happiness when things get just a little bit different in their lives...a new job, a new relationship, a vacation booked...I have seen so many people get stuck in their lives that they have forgotten what their dreams and hopes were for themselves, they forget what they wanted out of life and they live to give their children the future that they dream of....only guess what their children are probably going to end up having kids and doing the exact same thing...very few people actually accomplish what they set out to do with their lives...if you sit back and think about it.....there is so much world to see how can people actually never leave their little bubble....because their stupid and afraid to see what they could really do if they put their minds to it, myself included. But guess what even if you have the mind set to do it....if you don't have the money than you can't do a thing...unless you put yourself into debt with the hopes that in the end your venture will pay off otherwise you are worse off then you were before...

Now don't get me wrong I love my kids to death and I wouldn't trade them for anything. If I didn't have them I would probably die. They make me laugh and smile everyday, they are the best!!!!. But I hope to instill just that small little bit of selfishness into them so that when they are making their choices in life, they are truly doing what they have set out to do.... and what makes them happy... PEACE OUT BABIES.......