So where do you want to start? Well the last couple of blogs that I have written have been channeling my inner self. A cleansing if you will, but I am over that so strap yourself in, it may get a little bumpy. I got sick recently, not deathly ill don't worry, just a bout of strep throat. Which by the way, I found out that if you get type A strep as an adult it can have terminal effects on your heart. This little tidebit of information was given to me by an er nurse while I was waiting for my test results. She must have seen the panic on my face because she added "o but seldom do people get type a strep" Really you are fucking er nurse why the hell would you ever say that to someone. Remind me never to go to that er if I truely feel that I am dying. Anyway impending summer clothes, I get sick can't eat for days because my throat feels like someone just ripped through it with the tynes of a fork, and my first thought is well at least I will loose a few pounds. Guys reading this are mostly saying thats effed up, but the women know!!! Getting a slight illness right before the outslaught of wearing pretty much no clothes for 3 or 4 months is never a bad a thing. Gives you that jump start that you need. So here we are again with the whole dieting thing, which by the way is a total waste of time unless you plan on working out. But with my phobia of gross people sweating near me, I would say that I probably won't be visiting a gym anytime soon. So starvation it is!!!

It blows my mind when people say oooo can't wait to workout. I mean I understand the whole it makes you feel great because when I do workout I do feel great. But I never say OMG can't wait to go to the gym. No nope, I can think of about 27 million other places that I would rather be, then standing next to some jacked up muscle head who is lifting way more weight over his head than any one person should be able to or rather want to for that matter. Why do you have to lift 450 pounds over your head? What purpose will that serve you in life? O I know you are out at party and you want to impress some chick so you start bench pressing her friends? And really guys the whole vein popping out of your skin thing when you flex is just plain gross!!! To all of you chicks that body build also, I am sorry I would rather have an extra little weight on my body than a man's chest and grotseque looking legs. Nope I won't be winning any weight lifting contests.

So with that said I am back in those skinny jeans that I thought I should just burn rather than try on ever again. So with a little will power and whole lot of keeping my big mouth shut around food, I may just be able to put that bathing suit back on this year. In the privacy of my own home of course never out in any type of public place, for that would be scary. But for those of you who know me, know that I can't resit choclate or nacho chips so FML....I will be kissing those effing jeans good bye in no time....quick somebody cough on me please!!!

Footprints.....

Footprints....to some people they are just what they mean. You step and your shoe leaves a mark in the ground until something comes to wash it away. To others, footprints are the imprints that we leave as we step forward on our journey. What does that mean exactly? Historically speaking many people have left footprints that show you the way...such as our founding fathers, religious leaders and our parents. Other people leave footprints that inspire your creativity, those people are the ones who make you stop and really listen to their message. Sometimes it's hidden in song or some times it's just thoughts or ideas that ignite a feeling inside people. Have you ever read a quote anywhere that makes you stop and think "wow, I really understand the meaning behind that" For some people that same quote means nothing it's just words on a page. It's all where you are at in your life.

For me, I have had many footprints as I think that most people do throughout their lives. They take different paths, some lead to dead ends, others are long and winding roads that we simply continue pushing forward on. I have a great friend, who told me once that in our lifetime we lead many different lives. As children, we look to our parents to find the path and we follow their footprints along their road. When we become teenagers, we branch out on our own, test the road a little bit if you will, sometimes it leads us on a very different journey, other times we rush back to the safety of our parents path. We make a million friends, explore our style, and simply wonder about the future.

When we become twenty somethings thats when we try to find our way on our own...question who we are in life and where do we want to be. We experiment with love and we learn about heartbreak. Making the big decisions with really no idea what lies ahead. Sometimes following the easy path that is expected of us and sometimes jumping off the path and running in the sand. But by the end of our twenties, most people know for the most part in what direction they want their lives to lead them. Not always the right decisions but they are willing to give it a try. But still holding on to the tiniest of strings that their parents have left dangling for them as security just in case.

When you enter your thirties, you have a pretty good idea of who you are...it may not be who expected, but it's you all the same. We figure out the true meaning of a friend and we lessen the amount of people in which we surround ourselves with. Sometimes our path narrows and we hold fast to the footprints that we left behind. For those footprints are the memories of a carefree person, who looked ahead with anticipation and excitement. In your thirties, you usually become comfortable with the outward beauty and the things about your appearance that made you cringe in your teens and twenties. You learn to embrace all that make you unique and find yourself letting go of insecurites of what others may think of you. It's this time in your life that most people choose to have children and we become the leader on the path rather than the explorer. Our children tread in our footprints, they look to us for direction and comfort.

As I enter my forties, I find myself looking ahead again. Feeling excitement and curiousity about the path ahead. Not for me as much as for my children. I often find myself wondering at what point in their lives will they start to embark on their road, will they take the journey through life as I have or will they carve out a new path in the sand? I hope that they choose, in the words of Robert Frost " the path less traveled by". I am excited to see the people in which they will become....peace