I got my toes in the water....ass in the sand...not a worry in the world...a cold beer in my hand...life is good today...life is good today...

Monday, March 26, 2012

So where do you want to start? Well the last couple of blogs that I have written have been channeling my inner self. A cleansing if you will, but I am over that so strap yourself in, it may get a little bumpy. I got sick recently, not deathly ill don't worry, just a bout of strep throat. Which by the way, I found out that if you get type A strep as an adult it can have terminal effects on your heart. This little tidebit of information was given to me by an er nurse while I was waiting for my test results. She must have seen the panic on my face because she added "o but seldom do people get type a strep" Really you are fucking er nurse why the hell would you ever say that to someone. Remind me never to go to that er if I truely feel that I am dying. Anyway impending summer clothes, I get sick can't eat for days because my throat feels like someone just ripped through it with the tynes of a fork, and my first thought is well at least I will loose a few pounds. Guys reading this are mostly saying thats effed up, but the women know!!! Getting a slight illness right before the outslaught of wearing pretty much no clothes for 3 or 4 months is never a bad a thing. Gives you that jump start that you need. So here we are again with the whole dieting thing, which by the way is a total waste of time unless you plan on working out. But with my phobia of gross people sweating near me, I would say that I probably won't be visiting a gym anytime soon. So starvation it is!!!
It blows my mind when people say oooo can't wait to workout. I mean I understand the whole it makes you feel great because when I do workout I do feel great. But I never say OMG can't wait to go to the gym. No nope, I can think of about 27 million other places that I would rather be, then standing next to some jacked up muscle head who is lifting way more weight over his head than any one person should be able to or rather want to for that matter. Why do you have to lift 450 pounds over your head? What purpose will that serve you in life? O I know you are out at party and you want to impress some chick so you start bench pressing her friends? And really guys the whole vein popping out of your skin thing when you flex is just plain gross!!! To all of you chicks that body build also, I am sorry I would rather have an extra little weight on my body than a man's chest and grotseque looking legs. Nope I won't be winning any weight lifting contests.
So with that said I am back in those skinny jeans that I thought I should just burn rather than try on ever again. So with a little will power and whole lot of keeping my big mouth shut around food, I may just be able to put that bathing suit back on this year. In the privacy of my own home of course never out in any type of public place, for that would be scary. But for those of you who know me, know that I can't resit choclate or nacho chips so FML....I will be kissing those effing jeans good bye in no time....quick somebody cough on me please!!!

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