Winter can kiss my ass dammit!!!!

So it is the dead of winter and I am not friggin joking. Living in New England is just the pits and anyone who says "oooo it's so beautiful and I love the changing of the seasons and the pretty tree leaves and the hot summer days". Yup all of that its great UNTIL....all of sudden you are minding your own business running around town in your flip flops when suddenly at 4:00 it's pitch black outside and thats ok I don't like it, but I can tolerate it. and it starts to get a little bit colder and you can't wear you flip flops anymore now that starts to piss me off I'm not gonna lie. Then some stupid meteorologist, who by the way has a job in the only profession where you can be wrong 90% of the time and still get paid, comes on the tv and says "get ready for old man winter...a giant nor'easter is headed our way".....that's when I can not take it anymore!!! Everyone looks at the first snow of the year and says o isn't it pretty and yup I will admit sometimes when I am looking out of the window in my nice cozy bunny slippers I say it is kind of pretty. That is until Jack Frost who by the way is a jerk, dumps 12 inches of snow onto us and continues to dump snow until we clearly have no place to put any of it. Now here we are in the midst of another 9 to 12 inch drop of white fluffy shit on top of the already 30 something inches we have got now, and I say ENOUGH ALREADY!!!! Please Jesus stop the insanity....I can't take it anymore. Usually I can get out of the winter sports such as sledding which is an accident waiting to happen. they really need some kind of policing on these hills, my kid smashed his sled into some other kid, I run down the hill to make sure the other kid is ok and the mother who was sledding herself looks at me like I am trying to steal her kid. Clearly mother of the year material right there huh? She had absolutely no idea that her kid got pretty much taken out cuz he decided to lay exactly where he fell off his sled....future president I am sure. and I can usually get out of the whole shoveling crap, that is until my husband decided that for this storm he would go away for the weekend....which by the way his weekend starts on Wednesday and ends on Sunday....and in reality that is 5 days and by some standards a week.. anyway that's a whole other blog. So with that I said I sit here and watch the snow falling and read the school closings (this I will revisit in a just a moment) and revel in the fact that when all is said and done I have to either shovel this shit or figure out how the hell to start the snowblower...and I laugh at that simply because once I start it, it will drag me around like a rag doll and blow snow everywhere but where I want it to go...

Let me just revisit the whole School Closing thing again. Now I went to Lynn Public Schools....my son is in preschool in Lynn...my daughter elementary in Peabody...I never, ever, ever, remember school being called off before the storm even started...this is absolutely redonkulous...which by definition means half donkey, half just plain dumb....I remember praying before I went to bed please God, please God, let there be snow when I wake up...let there be no school...PLEASE!!! And I remember the joy when I woke up and ran to the window and looked out and saw that there was no school...I would do a little dance in my pj's singing I got no school..... I got no school....while my mom would bury her head in her cup of tea....but that is not the case anymore...NOPE. They want to simplify and be sure to cater to the morning commute...therefore they call of school before the storm starts...these kids have had so many snow days this year that in order to go to school for 180 days they will be well into July...and that's just cutting into my time..... the summer...Again this is New England and I guess as a resident I have to endure the dreaded S word....but that doesn't mean that I have to like it...and if it doesn't stop soon....I may just cut off an extremity and sacrifice it up to the season gods....the funny thing is as I finish up this blog my phone just rang with a recorded message from the Peabody Superintendent of schools telling me that due to the predicted heavy snow accumulations there will be no school in the city of Peabody tomorrow....BAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA.....I need some wine...


PEACE LOVE AND WINE!!!!